Word is, we've reached peak burger. And probably peak everything USA, as the proliferation of (hot) dog joints, burger shacks, waffle vans and diners continues across the country. Every chef, everywhere, is attempting their own individual gourmet take on these ur-fast foods, enhancing the quality of the bun, the meat, the sauce, the cheese, the cooking technique to ensure you have your "perfect" burger and so on without having to resort to the old sweet-sharp-sour pull of some of the more famous fast food chains.
The chains know they can't arguably compete on quality if you're prepared to pay over and above for it, but they do have a couple of tricks up their primary-coloured sleeves and they aren't afraid to use them. Firstly, let's be honest, nothing tastes as good as your very first fast-food burger, irrespective of allegiance, and you will spend the rest of your life chasing that experience down again. They know that and that's why they work so damn hard on the perfect addictive balance of sweet and sour, savoury and bland. It's comfort by stealth. Secondly, they let you menu-hack. That is, there's (and we are using this term advisedly) an underground movement to get the chains to customise their usually-immoveable menu items to make the "secret" options known only to those brave enough to ask.
Combinations are as lurid as your imagination: the McLeprechaun shake is a mixture of their mint and chocolate milkshakes; The McLand Sea and Air burger is an unholy trinity of their beef, fish and chicken (...um...?) burgers all in one; Frings at Burger King are a mixed pack of onion rings and fries, but it's not just about making the kerraziest combo. Some menu hacks are just about saving the pennies or insider info for a "better" meal, such as ordering a McDouble burger without ketchup and mustard but with lettuce and Big Mac sauce gets you nearly a Big Mac but for nearly £2 cheaper, or ordering the Filet-O-Fish without cheese mysteriously gets you a hotter piece of protein. Or being in the know about the huge range of dipping sauces that extend far beyond ketchup and BBQ - think chipotle BBQ, sweet mustard, creamy ranch or spicy buffalo which would shake up the nuggets no end.
Hackthemenu.com was started by Kiley Libuit who got a kick back in the day from ordering crazy combinations of milkshakes at his local diner and seeing if they would go with it. Now he runs the website listing all the secret options for American fast food chains and customers are completely up for it, taking their secret option list and chortlingly asking for the Mustard Whopper and so on, whilst clearly winking sideways and leering at the staff, just begging for them to say "No". The trend has crept over here, but with predictably muted results, given that 1) we only have a couple of the same chains over here and 2) it's not a very British thing to do. For Christ's sake, we can barely bring ourselves to ask them to leave off the gherkin; we can't just walk in and demand something we can't even see and don't even know we'll like, just for the craic.
It's hard to know who's really behind all this: the fast food chains clearly derive huge benefit from the publicity of menu-hacking. Customers get a frisson of danger from ordering an eight-patty Monster burger that most likely will kill them at some stage. Is it a trend that could take off over here? Well, once we deal with that damn gherkin, maybe we could live a little and get it on with some ranch dressing for those nuggets.
