For the ultimate in slow customer service I recommend a visit to Portofino Ristorante, Folkestone. The atmosphere, described by the establishment itself as 'convivial' was infact far from friendly and agreeable. Instead I found myself unable to relax and wondering whether or not it was permissable to talk at all. When I did decide to talk, such was the size of the table, I found myself leaning across it in an effort to reduce the vast expanse that lay between my companion and I.
To my relief, our food order was taken fairly promptly, giving me every confidence of catching my 9.30 train back to london. I ordered a Beef Steak with a mushroom and wine sauce- or some such. My friend ordered a vegetarian lasagne. In addtion we had side orders of sauteed potatoes and garlic spinach. Since I asked for my Steak to be rare I could only imagine that it wouldn't take too long before we were served. This was a gross missjudgement. It was a good 40mins before anything arrived at our table.
When at last our dinner was served I found that my steak was a particularly bad cut- full of gristle, and the sauteed potatoes were almost certainly cooked from frozen. To the chefs credit, the spinach was most enjoyable- but then I don't know whether my palet was just being kind as I am sure that compartively most things would taste good after my beef and potatoes.
I asked for Dijon mustard as a condiment and was subsequently asked if I wanted English or French mustard, to which I replied 'French.' I had expected a mild, slightly sweet and vinegary taste, instead I was confronted with what I can only describe as some sort of congealed Worchester Sauce- which was utterly ghastly.
When we had finished our main course we were asked if we would like any dessert. Even if I had wanted dessert I hadn't the time as I was barely on course to catch my train. If the bill arrived quickly I might just make it. The bill took it's time. Not only had I missed my train, to add insult to injury I realised that I had been charged £12.00 for 4 very small beers which, if my measurements are generous, I would estimate totalled about 2 pints.